What the world needs now.

I haven't quite finished my "cream of the crop" in happiness series. I got a little side tracked thinking about wanting a new house, but I'm moving on! Today, I'd like to talk about the L word. LOVE. Not just passionate love, but the unconditional kind that encompasses everything. We love our pets, our spouses, our parents, children, movies, books, food etc., you name it. What about complete and utter love for ourselves? What about complete love for everyone on the planet, including people you can't even stand to look at? Wouldn't life be fuller lived if we loved everyone unconditionally instead of holding on to anger and resentment?

I read in a book that we should learn to be Love philanthropists and not Love beggars. Which means, learn to have so much love inside your being that you have limitless amounts to give away without ever losing any yourself. Don't go begging to people, hands out stretched, asking "will you love me if I'm thin? will you love me if I'm beautiful? will you love me if I make a lot of money?". I love this idea! It shouldn't matter whether we get compliments or complaints from other people, they are only making projections of how they feel at the moment, and often I find it doesn't have much to do with me at all. We don't have to beg to be loved if we are already filled with love.

Love is indicated to be the most powerful positive emotion we have, but of course the day I want to write about loving everyone is the day I find it the most hard. Kid's these days right? We love our kids so very, very, much, but sometimes I feel like they just making everything so difficult it's hard to remember WHY we love them. I don't think perfect love means you never get angry and you suppress everything, just that at the core you love them without condition. My kids may throw fits that make me feel insane in the brain but I still love them no matter how they act or don't act. To have even more love in your life you can shift this unconditional love for your kids or spouse to people you don't even know, and then eventually, to people you don't even like.

One way to do this is to wish people well (silently unless you want to get looks). In my head while sitting at the dinosaur museum I silently wish another mom sitting next to me "May you be safe, may you be physically happy, may you be mentally happy, may you have well being". The woman who almost clips my car in the Walmart parking lot? First I say some jerk reaction choice words but I bring it back to "may you be safe, may you be physically happy, may you be mentally happy, may you have well being". Direct this phrase, first to yourself, then slowly to people you love, then people you don't know, then people you actively don't like. I'm still on the "people you don't know" phase myself. The weirdest thing is, the more you wish people well, the more you will feel well yourself. Just try it! You can do it anywhere and anytime. It's so easy.

Try it for one day... say, THIS day, and get back to me how it made you feel. You don't have to try to evoke any special feelings- just say the phrase slowly and carefully, mentally directed at one person fully at a time. You can even spend the entire day directing it towards yourself. In fact it might take several weeks or months for each phase, but for a trial run you can direct it to anyone to see how it feels, then go back and do it more slowly. Let me know what you think!

Janae