Sincerity Counts

Allrighty then, been giving out your awards? Good! keep it going! Remember we are trying to form new habits here. It's not always easy to break free from the old ones, just do what your mother always told you. Practice practice practice!(my mom was a piano teacher, thanks mom!)

But before we embark on our quest for happiness there's something important I need you to keep in mind for the whole journey.

SINCERITY COUNTS.

I'm going to describe to you 2 made-up mornings that I might actually experience on any given day. You tell me which one is better...

I wake up to the sound of my kids screaming for me in their beds. I think to myself, "wow, I am so lucky that my children have such healthy voices!" I swoop out of bed and into my 2 year olds room where he has already had a dirty diaper, which has spilled all over him and the crib. "This is such a wonderful opportunity for me to wash all his bed clothes and get him in the bath early!" I think. Next, I take the kids downstairs to find the dog has gone through the garbage and eaten some raw meat, made a huge mess, then yacked all over the floor. "Oh, poor Aiden. I hope he's feeling better now. I'm so glad we have such a wonderful family dog." Next, I flip on the news to hear the latest on an awful government that is repressing and killing it's own people in the streets. I think "what a concise and organized account the news reporter is giving! And just look at that camera crew, they are keeping the camera so steady with all that gunfire going on around them."

Okay, did you throw up a little in your mouth? I sure did. Thinking positively does not mean repressing the negative or covering up reality. You might need to let a curse go under your breath to find a huge, disgusting, unexpected mess for you to clean up. Or feel anger for the worlds injustices.

Enter sincerity... Now of course I don't have a catastrophe filled morning like the previous one every morning, that was to prove a point. Here is a more normal morning with a little sincerity.

I wake up to my kids laughing and playing in the baby's crib. My 4 year old comes in and quietly says, "mommy it's time to get up". I think how lucky I am that my kids will play together in the mornings to give me a few extra minutes of sleep. I take them downstairs where they start crying for their sippy cups of warm milk. I try to think of a positive way to get them to calmly and politely ask me for milk. I feel this is an opportunity for me to help them to learn to get the things that they want out of life from other people. I hold the milk out for them but don't give it until they have said in a normal voice "please, can I have some milk mommy?" where I immediately reward them with their milk. Then I see a black widow crawling up behind my 2 year olds legs. Many choice words come to mind and are probably screamed aloud. I HATE spiders! I really, really hate them! I grab little G out of the way and then fine a very large glass bowl to throw over it until someone can come over to kill the stupid thing. Last, we go downstairs to watch some cartoons. I think "I am so grateful for educational cartoons that my kids like. I get a minute to blog while they are learning." My daughter, lets call her "E", says "mommy! look! that Argentinisauras is helping the vilasorapters!" She's so smart. :)

Which one did you like better? Hopefully the later.

Human beings are excellent masters in detecting B.S. Both in others and in ourselves. We respond more to people who are genuine, open, and real. We want to cultivate sincerity throughout all of our positive thoughts and experiences. In fact, if you try to change all of your negative thoughts into purely positive ones and repress everything, you might as well go ahead and sign yourself up for that stomach ulcer surgery. So find things what works for you to help your happiness grow. If you find yourself stuffing down the bad feelings, take a moment to let yourself feel them. Really feel them. Then accept them as a genuine part of yourself and do not judge yourself for feeling the way you do. I sometimes say to myself, "hey anxiety, there you are. I love you because you're a part of me. Lets sit here for a bit and just hang out together." Then I let it go. No stewing, no pity party, no fighting, just accepting and being.

"What we resist, persists" Carl Jung (1875-1961)

Here is your new assignment for the week and one I know will help you get a feel for your sincerity. A grateful journal. I also wrote this on my family blog once so let your eyes go out of focus and imagine fluffy pink elephant clouds if you've already heard this. I'm not grateful for everything. No sir. Definitely not spiders. But my list of things I am grateful for far, far outweigh the things I'm not. And those are the things I'd rather dwell on. So for 2 weeks, as often as you can, write down all the things you are grateful for. Then after that, only write in it sporadically. Only when you feel genuinely inspired by something. Not everyone is grateful for the same things. But you must write them down! Seeing it on paper and being able to go back and read things from previous days will also lift you. I promise you. It does for me! Keep a list on your cell phone, keep a notebook in your kitchen, whatever you can manage easily. Then let the magic happen.

Here's wishing you a wonderful, gratitude filled day. :) I'm thankful for you all!