Mantra's

What in the world is a Mantra? you might be asking. Well, dictionary .com was no help in defining it so I'm going to give you the best explanation I can think of. Here goes: A mantra is a word or phrase that you say over and over to yourself (usually in meditation) to better your mind. But you don't have to do it in meditation per say if that's not your thing. Although, I think meditation is great and I will be expounding it's attributes in a later post.

I was talking to a friend recently when she was having a bad day. Like, a really bad day. One of those wonderful days where you fee like you can do nothing right, everyone hates you, and life in general sucks. We all have them! The weird thing was, I always thought of this friend as someone who is always upbeat and laughing and could care less what anyone thought of her. I often think, I need to be more like Rhoda! That's not her real name but let's just call her that for the purpose of anonymity. Then Rhoda said something that I think get's to the heart of all of life's problems. She said "Yes, I act happy around other people, and a lot of the time I AM happy. But it's when I'm alone that the darkness creeps in ". Okay, she didn't say anything about darkness, that's just me waxing poetic, but the point is I totally agree with her. It's what you tell yourself when you are alone that counts. During most of the day we have so many things to keep us busy and focused. Kids need to get to school, bills need to be paid, work needs to be done etc. But what things do you tell yourself, about yourself, when the lights go out?

A lot of the times, I bet, we beat ourselves up emotionally. Why aren't I perfect? Why is my house always a mess? Why can't I do this? Why can't I be better? What the Hell is wrong with me!? Okay, relax. Take a deep breath. And listen up, because I have something to tell you that might just blow you away. Ready?

Not everything you think, is true.

That's right. In fact, it's probably a good idea to start adopting some litigation skills to use against your very own brain. When a thought arises that's negative about yourself, challenge it! Just because you thought it, does not mean that it is the be all to end all! Argue with yourself for heavens sake! Bring in witnesses and evidence (in your mind) if you must. You will find that "the truth" about yourself is not as dire as you thought.

Which brings us back to Mantra's. Now that you have challenged your own beliefs about yourself, and hopefully you will continue to do so, how about telling yourself something nice? How about saying: I am a nice person, I am intelligent, I am funny, I am strong! "wait, hold the phone" you might be thinking." Just because I tell myself I am intelligent does not mean I will suddenly be able to perform complicated physics!" Oh contrare my friend. Because guess what. Everything that you are at this very moment is because you told yourself you could or couldn't do this or be that. The idea behind Mantra's is that if you tell yourself that you are a certain way many times, eventually your brain will accept it as truth. And why not? your brain has accepted everything else you have told it you are.

So here's how to use a mantra. First, find something that you would like to change about yourself, or something that you want to do but told yourself you couldn't. For example: since I have anxiety, I like to tell myself, "I am so happy and grateful, now that I am mentally free". Always begin your phrase with I AM. This is the most powerful sentence in the English language. I AM. Don't say I wish I was, or someday I would like to be... say, I am THAT now. If your Mantra states that you will be this way in the future then it will stay that way. In the future. Remember, when you tell yourself negative things you don't say "I hope someday I will be a loser" you usually say "Man, I am such a loser". I AM! So turn the tide. Say, I AM beautiful! I AM wonderful! I AM amazing! Because you are!

Second, keep it short. As short as possible. You will get so sick of repeating a phone book of things that you are. And you won't remember half of it and the exercise will be pointless. haha.

Third. Say it over and over. And over. And over again. My books say 80 times is a comfortable amount. You can say it more, but I find 80 is actually quite a bit for me so I stay there most of the time.

So there you have it. You can create your own personal Mantra or use ones already pre-formed. Like, "every day, in every way, I am better and better". It's pretty general but I find I like this one very much. It comes from a French psychologist whose name I can neither spell nor pronounce, who lived in the early 1900's. He discovered this method, although I don't think he called it a Mantra (which, by the way, is a Buddhist term) but it's really the same concept. And he used it to very great success. I repeat this one when I'm falling asleep and waking up, 80 times if I can make it that far, and I feel a huge difference when I forget to say it.

When you find you are giving yourself an emotional thrashing, stop, and bring up your Mantra. Don't be discouraged if it doesn't work right away, just keep going and going. Remember you have been telling yourself the negative things for years and years and it might take that much time for the positive things to take hold. If you can, say it over and over again for no reason at all. This is treating yourself lovingly.

Look in the mirror and say "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and Gosh darnit! People like me!"

Love and Kindness to you all

Janae